Bulletproof, a word that easily describes my belief in my own personality and presence. In no other way than allowing me the peace of mind to do what I do, to take the risks I take in accomplishing the adventures I place myself in. Whether that is mixing with some of the regions most venomous of snakes or scaling cliffs as a way of reaching certain photographic vistas. Everything I do challenges me against nature to try and accomplish something just a little different. However as we get older we do start to think more about self preservation, especially when there are also younger family members on the scene. I find myself now spending a lot more time looking to pass on as much advice and real world lessons to my young son Joshua in the hope he will be able to make decisions that will allow him to lead an eventful life. My desire to pass this on has been exacerbated by the news I receive on 28th December 2020. It has been a little over a year since my being diagnosed with Auto Immune Hepatitis.

The greatest hope we have for the future is how our children employ the knowledge we instill in them to lead as good a life as they possibly can.

Auto Immune Hepatitis is a strange disease. Well it's got me stumped on a couple of counts. Firstly it normally afflicts females, so I guess this is mother nature's way of putting me in touch with my feminine side? Secondly and maybe less of a confusion but more of a concern. To have a diseases which includes the word 'Hepatitis' suggests to people I confide in about my condition that my liver is damaged due to an abuse of drugs, alcohol or both due to the condition of the same name stemming from such indulgence. To simplify things my immune system is incredibly strong, in fact too strong. To that end it has started attacking my liver which deteriorates the organ to a point it can aesthetically appear to have injuries consistent with indulgence, and abuse, of the vices as previously outlined. The disease without management and medication has a prognosis of around 5yrs whereas with good medication it shouldn't have any real impact on expected lifespan. Fingers crossed.

Fortunately for me I guess the docs found the disease in me at a very early stage. It's a saving grace that it has been able to have been managed, to date, with quite the strict regimen of medication. Medication is a concoction of around 12 tablets daily which comprise of what I call the 'Devils Candy' in other words Prednisone, a pretty hectic steroid to which I have fortunately not reacted to as strongly as some do. Then there are Osteoperosis meds that try to stem the weakening of my bones and additional meds to ensure I don't get pneumonia given that the steroids heavily impact the efficiency of my immune system. In a time of this global pandemic and finding myself compromised health wise I take as many precautions as possible to not be in as too crowded a location at any given time. Fingers crossed again that to date I still haven't had as much as a sniffle in the past year.

The hardest part through all of this is the initial coming to terms with it all. As soon as I had concrete diagnosis of course my first thoughts were to my family, especially my young son Joshua. Scenarios flashed into my mind of saying goodbye way too early in his life, of not being there as he grows when he asks me the questions any son will ask his father through his development years. The doom and gloom of it all, fed by the constant searching online for details and reading about others journeys through the AIH jungle. I soon learned to not go online looking for support groups etc. After having read by those on the same journey that they have survived with the disease, in a few cases, for over 50yrs, instilled me with enough positive energy about my chances that it no longer weighs on me. Yes, I've spoken to my son about my condition, about what would happen if I didn't take this concoction of tablets daily. He's wise beyond his 9 years and takes it in his stride. Sometimes just a little too direct as one time reminding me to take my afternoon cocktail, with the additional "you can't die before I get to buy you a beer" kicker. That beer will be the one and only beer I would have drunk since full diagnosis, it will also be the last I consume in my existence. No doubt it will probably be the sweetest one I would have ever drunk in my life, and there have been a few!

The first images taken this year reflected both the dark weather we entered into the New Year with and also my mindset with regards to the whole fragility of things. I'd fallen down the climate catastrophe rabbit hole.

When facing the fragility of one's own existence it's not difficult to have that vision and thought process shift focus to realities that may impact others, my son and partner specifically, once I'm gone. Like many parents these days I despair for the kind of world my son will have to contend with as he journeys through life. I can only hope through solutions will be found in line with non destructive technologies to address the woes we now currently know will impact our collective existence on this spinning rock we call home. Mixed with the current wave of climate change hysteria that now seems to permeate social media it's only all too simple to fall into that rabbit hole. I know I did, and hard. The three prior Blog Posts to this illuminate that descent Thankfully I realized where I was headed and how I was starting to sound and made the necessary adjustments. In particular with regards to the accounts followed and interacted with. across to social media divide. To address climate change these days is to do so in a way that will actually inspire some kind of action or reaction, in the case of creative mediums.

Rather than simply act as yet another rebroadcast station in the amplification and distribution of doom and gloom scenarios and prophecies I set out to do that one thing I had on my bucket list that now seemed to make the most sense, to write a movie. If there is any way people can grab the attention of others it's to do something creative that resonates. I mean look at the impact of Leo Dicaprio's latest flick, Don't Look Up. It deals with a scenario where man(kind) is made to confront his very existence in the form of an Earth ending comet racing towards imminent impact with our planet. Irrespective of what one thinks of the film the resulting discussions about it at the time of its release, through to the current moment, is constant. Even to a point where the film has its own hashtag on social media and that hashtag, across the various platforms, having now been used many millions of times.The only failing of the film in my humble opinion, is that it only really addresses the armageddon of things with regards to mans existence. As a conservationist my take would have been to address the issue from the natural world side of things. It is after all the exploitation of the natural World that I believe has gotten us into this current predicament.

With my screenplay for 'Natural Selection' now registered with the writers guild of America and also having a copyright certificate is it that I look to find a way to bring it to life. It is currently being read by a Hollywood 'heavyweight' with proven success on the big screen. Quite what will come of that, if anything, is yet to be seen. In my own way I see the actions I can take to help bring about change is by creating a scenario that serves as one potential solution to the issue at hand. Given the way the main protagonist in Natural Selection choses to address the issues he sees as being catalysts for the demise of the Natural World verges on the psychopathic stems from the freedom that creative arts allow. I'm hoping it will at some point of the process of getting it out there to being read that it will resonate enough with someone so as to allow it one day see the big screen.

I wrote it for Josh, in the hope that we can now see the error of our ways and look to collectively make things right for the generations of tomorrow.

"The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it."

William James